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Right, so Celebrity Big Brother is back, like, on Channel 5, instead of Channel 4, which means big big changes.

This time they’ve got real celebrities, y’know like, well, Sally Bercow…
Ok, fair point. What about Jedward? I’ve heard of him. Them.

Kerry Katona? That’s easy, she’s famous because she won another reality show and there’s um… well, there’s Tara Reid – American Pie – and then there’s like Amy Childs and that’s before you’ve even considered Pamela Bach, Lucien Laviscount and the true legend that is Bobby Sabe. All household names, well familiar to all of us.

I think you get my drift. 

I can’t take it any more. I’ve had enough of so-called entertainment where we are invited to gawp at Z-grade ‘celebs’ making idiots of themselves. I thought it was all over last year when they had the final ‘Ultimate’ series where they boasted of ‘real’ stars to entertain us.

It was real super that one, and it included a veritable galaxy of well-known individuals. There was Chantelle, who’s famous for not being famous, and she was ably supported by a selection of ex-Big Brother housemates who hadn’t been famous before they became famous. And then there was Ulrika Jonsson – yep, I’d well heard of her. 

And Preston, which is a town.

So I’m not being fair, you say. Let’s consider other celebs who entertained on Big Brother series of old.

Lady Sovereign…?

Um… no.

Katia then?

Oh that’s easy, she was famous for sleeping with Ronnie Wood. And Ulrika, who was famous for sleeping with Sven Goran Eriksson. Then there’s Dane Bowers, who was famous for sleeping with Katie Price; Alex, who was also famous for sleeping with Katie Price; Jonas, who was famous for almost sleeping with Katia and Ivana Trump who was also famous for…

So, glad that was over, but now we’ve got Sally Bercow, who’s famous for…

There’s seven billion people living in the world and, as adults, most of them are perfectly capable of having sex with other people. It’s not a unique talent that demands adulation.

I’ve written about this before, and I am sorry to bore you with this subject again, but I’ll be steering well clear of Channel 5 in the next few weeks just in case I accidently channel-hop to a scenario where I am able to witness the hilarity of somebody arguing over who took the last biscuit.

See what I’ve done there…

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