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Boots are made for walking, not torturing

Not technically boots or even footwear, more foot/ankle/legwear that, in the initial stages, is something Guantanamo torture experts would have been pleased with. Putting on a brand-spanking new, rigid-as-a-dartboard 10-hole ‘Air Wear’ Dr Marten boot is like strapping a cast iron drainpipe to your leg; there is little resistance and, although it affords you the pleasure of leaning over at any angle – Michael Jackson smooth-criminal-style – it forces you to goosestep until the ‘running-in’ period of three months is over.

You can, if you like, pummel the leather with a tent mallet, but that won’t help. Nor will a vatload of that stuff that’s called something like ‘leather-food’. No, with Docs, there’s only pain in the gain; you just have to make it clear to your friends that for three months you’ll walk like a Nazi but assure them that you really do not have any plans to annexe the Sudetenland.

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