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Computer: your only 'friend'

Sad people who spend far too much time behind their computers and can’t be bothered to go out, phone people up or interact in the usual fashion have plenty of Facebook ‘friends’. Usually these friends are people you might have met at a party and with whom you exchanged a few pleasantries.

The idea, it seems, is to collect friends. ‘I’ve got 434 friends on Facebook, aren’t I popular?’

No, you’re dysfunctional.

Your real friends are people that you go out with, see on a regular basis, share your trials and tribulations with, drink too much with, share a drink with and they forgive your many faults. They put up with you and they don’t remove you if you tell them that their profile picture looks weird. Propping up your myriad insecurities by applying to be everyone’s ‘friend’ is a sure sign that ‘staying in’ will be a regular feature in your life.

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