Friday, November 19
Daytime running lights
Last week I was on the radio in my capacity as a motoring journalist giving my version of wisdom concerning daytime running lights on cars. Now this is not some sort of Alan Partridge-style low-grade celebrity boast – it was Radio Nottingham after all, which is like opening the back door while you are having a row with your wife.
No, it got me thinking about the pointlessness of daytime running lights. For those absolutely disinterested in all things motoring I do apologise, but for those who have got this far in this dangerously-heading-for-soporific piece all new cars manufactured from February 2011 must be fitted with daytime running lights.
It is, of course, an utterly pointless exercise. Daytime running lights, for those not in the know, do as they say on the tin. In short, it means new cars will have their lights on whether you like it or not, in the daytime.
I think God did a pretty good job with the sun and any attempt at gilding the Earth’s light lily certainly isn’t going to help. No, this is merely another nanny-state policy designed to please people in cardigans. If this policy really is in the interests of road safety then I’m Elvis. If you can’t see a half-tonne Audi bearing down on you as you cross the road, you need a guide dog.
Sunday, November 21
On the latest instalment of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Gillian McKeith fainted at the prospect of another bushtucker trial. I find this scarcely believable. This is a woman who spends of a lot of her time prodding other people’s shit.
Monday, November 22
Plodding up the A1 from London to Peterborough, my swift passage was baulked by two lorries taking up both carriageways with one attempting an overtaking manoeuvre. This is much like watching glaciers in a drag race or waiting for something credible to come from Nick Clegg’s mouth. At some point one vehicle will eventually pass the other, but not actually in this century.